i want it.

i'm not one for new years resolutions. i mean, honestly if i want to change something about myself, i can do it anytime. i do not need to wait for january first to decide that i want to change areas of my life. however, the feeling of knowing that 2008, along with all of the mistakes and problems that came with it, are now gone, is inspiring. it is clean. it is the feeling of coming home to a clean house, and crisp sheets.

there is relief for the past, and hope for the future. there is hope in knowing that you can change. change! what a feeling of power! your life is in your hands always, but realizing that you can be different; better. it is wonderful to know what you are capable of.

i already know i am capable/and want the usual things: to eat better, spend less money, work out more, build up our savings, so on and so fourth. but there is more isnt there? there is more to life than a nice bank account and a better body.

i want a better heart.

i want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

i dont want to pick apart the good things in my life to find the bad.

i want to have a better attitude.

i never want to have a bad thought about my friends or my husband.

i want to desire good above all.

i want to look for ways to make others lives better.

the best part about wanting these things for myself, is that they are attainable. they were made to be attainable. we were made to be good. we were made to thrive in and for good. i know i can do these things, i know that i have to want it: and i do. i want it. i want it for me and my husband. i want it for my friends. i want it for my family. i want it for vision/church. i want it for all. 

there are not a lot of things that i want for: we have a great place, wonderful family and friends, a beautiful pup, two good jobs, a future. 

but i want a better heart. i want all of those things that i know will change me and my relationships. those are the things that i want. those are the things that i need, but it is important to want them. you can need honesty in your life, but to want honesty, that is brave. that is hard. that, my friends, is change.

happy new year ya'll. may you have the relief of a year past, and the hope of a new year to come. yay!