Valentines

this was our valentines day.

it was spent with friends of our whom we love and whose paths together are just beginning.

nathan brought home a ton of drape and made this tent for us outside. the twinkle lights and the cold air made the night perfect.

except for the fact that the chicken we made wasnt cooked. like at all. and we had to put it back in and we didnt end up eating until almost 10 o'clock at night.

but we all had a great time talking and laughing and baking and cooking and remembering why that day was so special.

and when we were finished eating we sat in our living room and talked until i had to go to bed.

we had a great time. and love was rejoiced. and relationships were reveled in.

realize.

today kicked my butt.

like a school girl crush trampled by the reality of a love that will never come.

today knocked the air out of my already tired lungs and i lay here in bed just wishing for sleep.

today has made me grateful for the flawless sunny days where my couch engulfs me and surrounds me with silly dreams. thankful for the brief moments of laughter nathan and i shared today watching the westminster dog show.

although today was bad, it wasnt awful.

a storm is brewing and the way i approach it will change everything.

everything.

everything.

i cant get over it. that word gives me chills.

this is not impossible. it is not a situation that will shake my foundation and crumble my spirits.

but they are bruised. they are black and blue with blows that life gives out when you least expect it. and each blow comes without grace or mercy. they come over, and over, and over, and over.

unfortunately, nay had this kind of day today too. we were a bunch of sad saps who just looked at each other hoping this day would end sooner.

but tomorrow has a promise and hope that i have taken for granted. i love how the terrible, no good days make us realize what a blessing those mundane days really are.

times.

hello friends.

i cant believe that it is already february. it seems like just yesterday we were buying our christmas tree and nathan was so bravely putting up thousands of twinkling christmas lights on our house to make me happy. the feeling of christmas going is almost as sad as i am happy when it comes.

does that make sense?

anyway, it's february and that means valentines day, THREE days off of school for presidents and their days, a couple birthday parties, and hopefully catching up on some of the projects here at the jones house. and boy, do we have projects. when they said we would always be working on the house they didnt lie. holy smokes, and most of these projects are things we started but couldnt finish because of weather, time, or supplies.

it's quite rude that those projects dont just finish themselves! dont they see we have too much to do?!

anyway , valentines day is coming up which is sort of a tough idea for me. dont get me wrong, i like that there is a day dedicated to being loving and showing someone that you love them, but i just feel that the expectations are completely unrealistic. i mean, i think this is cool:

but i just wish that there wasnt so much pressure for the dude to make the girl happy. it's really a holiday for us ladies. and it's not like i am exempt from this- i've been plenty bummed with nay for not doing something cool or forgetting what i asked for.

so, this year, i just told him what i wanted- him to learn, play, and record some love songs for me but to do them his own way. change the melody or the words- whatever he wanted. i gave him a list of songs and one of them is 'fools rush in' by elvis. dog gone that song is amazing. i have been hearing him now and then playing some of the songs and it literally gets me all teary. i love it. (in case you are curious, other songs are: the way you look tonight, follow you into the dark by death cab, and when i'm 64 by the beatles.)
i love elvis. and johnny. i've been listening to some johnny cash as of late and it has been filling my heart with happy. anyway, the fact that it says 1:03 p.m. in the upper right hand corner of my computer means that i need to get my stuff together to get ready to go to class. having class in the middle of the day is sort of a bummer but if we end up getting a scooter it will serve me well.