Never say never

ever since i was a little girl, i've always been an outdoors kind of girl. whether it is camping or being in the backyard planting flowers or just enjoying the sunshine, i have always loved being outside. the smell of fresh air, the way the wind blows your hair, the blinding sun, the swaying trees...it makes me wish that it wasnt 9:30 p.m. so i could go outside right now. i remember being a kid and feeling so sad when the sun started to set and the sweat on my skin dried and sent those cold shivers down my back.

but somewhere along the way from being a kid and turning into and adult, outside became less appealing: it offered less and less to me the older i got. being outside in the sun has become and inconvenience and i scan the area for shade. the blowing wind now irritates me as it sends my hair in all different directions sticking to my mouth and chapstick. and it isnt the whether that has changed: the sun didnt become less sunny and warm and the wind didnt become less mysterious.

i just lost it.

i forgot the feeling of being in love with nature and being outside. i feel like i have forgotten about a part of me that is still very much there, but is buried behind errands, laziness, excuses, and plans. these things are not more important or take precedence over the glory that sits outside my window, it just sits in my mind and haunts me to the point where i cant see how warm it is outside or how beautiful my neighbors flowers are.

these thoughts came to me today as i was sitting in my house, on my comfy couch, with remote in hand getting ready to watch a movie, when for some reason my eyes wandered outside and i was shocked at how blue the sky was.

i hadnt noticed all day.

i was too busy cleaning and running errands to see the magic that was sitting outside my window. and its not like it's hard to miss! it's the huge blueness above my head! when i realized how much i had been missing out on, i turned the television off and walked outside to look at the blue above me, and it was probably the best part of my day.

i believe that God has put that desire in all of us; the desire for nature and the sense of freedom that comes with it. freedom from cellphones and buildings and cars that take up too much room on our already crowded streets. freedom from our wallets and pocketbooks and plans we think take precedence over our own sense of peace and relaxation.i believe that God speaks to us in those moments, where He actually has a chance at getting our attention and gently brings us to a different place.

a holy place.

i never thought that my small condo porch would ever bring me a sense of peace or inspire a blog, but as a good friend of mine once blogged "never say never".