longing.

so duke has this face.

yup, this is that face. it is a face he strategically gets when nathan and i are on our way out to dinner, to work, to school, on our way anywhere and there he is with this face. i firmly belief that this is his longing face. he longs for us not to go. he longs for us to stay with him and keep him company this huge house we have. even though all he will do is sleep, he wants to know that we are there.

and when we come back.

watch out.

he is running. he is barking. he is happy and cant wait for our slow hands to unlock the door that stands between us. and when that door unlocks, he attacks us with licks and happy eyes and it is a sight. it warms my heart and it makes me love him more and more.

and the coolest thing about duke, is that he always knows when we leave. there is no fooling him, he knows that when we grab our things and head out to that dreaded door, we wont come back for a while. he has never missed us leaving.

but i have missed God leaving. i have been so preoccupied with my life that i dont even notice that God isnt in the choices i am making. it doesnt even occur to me that he might not be the one driving me to do something. it is only when i hear that door open do i look around and notice that he has been gone, and my heart drops: how long has he been gone???

but he comes back, and when He is gone, He hasnt gone far. He just isnt where i expect Him to be, but He is there. on sunday i realized that i have been without Him, and He broke down that door with children from Africa, who live in the slums, leading me in worship. He showed me how greedy and ugly my heart has become.

but He also showed me how to fix it. He always does.

since sunday i have been looking for Him, and if he leaves, or when i leave, i hope to have that look of longing. i wont have to look very far in order to know what that longing face looks like.