seriously lucky

there are people in this world that are just different. they are calmer and quieter. they are kinder and have an amazingly gentle spirit. they are diligent in choosing good and are at their best when they are serving others.

these people are a rare breed at best. but when you find these people, you are taken aback and you find yourself wanting to be like these people. mirroring their kindness and finding a better version of yourself in them.

nathans old boss is one of those people.

and today we had a party to honor all of the hard work he has done, and will continue to do. his whole family is moving overseas to answer the call that God has on their lives, which is mission work and serving those in need. i am so proud of them and the courage it takes to pack up and leave all the comforts of home to live in a foreign country, all for the glory of our God. i am proud, but i am also so deeply sad that we will no longer be able to see that family as often as we do.

to watch their kids grow and make good decisions. to have great conversations about God and all the great things going on in our lives. to support each other in huge decisions and give words of encouragement.

and honestly, we arent even that close.

isnt that silly? to miss something that is still here and something i dont even know well or understand?

i'm just going to try and get as much time with them as i can. they are wonderful.

the boys in a battle for glory

one of the cutest kids...ever

ufc was on...enough said

uncle randy attacking the kids

first hugs

randy surprising andy

another one of those people who are glorious and just make life easier is this cool cat:

her name is katie, and she pretty much rocks. we went out to dinner friday night at this awesome place in downtown santa ana and grubbed on some interesting food, and had some even better conversation.

i am seriously lucky to be surrounded by such great people.

seriously lucky.

out on a limb

today didnt feel like a monday. if anything it felt like a saturday which is a wonderful, fantastic, glorious feeling- until you realize that tomorrow isnt sunday and you do in fact, have to drag yourself to work.

but it felt like saturday because i only worked a 3 hour day, due to the fact our air conditioning guy was coming today, and that was certainly not a meeting i wanted to miss. i got home and janvier came over to hang out with me and go swimming later. so we waited around in my sicky home until the fixed air conditioning filled the rooms with much needed icy air. after we ate, took some pictures of our hounds playing, and watched some harry potter, we dragged our sweaty bodies down to the pool for some sun bathing and swimming.

what a wonderful monday/saturday.

cool refreshing water ran along my hands and the back of my neck washing all of the heat away, and filled my body with a feeling fresh and calming. it was so great just to lay on top of the water and feel it carry me around, sun beating down on my now sunburn face, and drops of water finding their way into my mouth and ears.

on a monday. when i should be at work.

glorious.

needless to say, i am extremely exhausted and ready to crawl into our comfy bed for some good ol' fashion sleeping and relaxing. hmm...even as i wrote that sentence my body was very disappointed with me that i am still sitting at this computer.

i'm going to go out on a limb and say that is one of the best ideas i have ever had. good job brain.

favorites

our house is a mess right now, and normally i am a good cleaner, but not today. today i want to sit on the couch and watch the vacations: European, Vegas, Christmas, ect. the dishwasher needs to be emptied, the groceries i got THREE days ago need to be put away, the floors need a good vacuuming, making beds...

ugh.

just thinking about all the work that needs to be done makes me want to throw the blankets over my head and wait for nathan to get home. unfortunately, duke is napping peacefully on that huge pile of blankets, and he is not keen to being woken up. plus he is just so damn cute i dont want to move him.

he is on of my most favorite things in the world. i dont have a lot of favorites, but he is totally one of them. also, a good friend of mine bought me an early birthday present and it quickly became another one of my favorites:

it smells like magic. (thanks Katie!)

still speaking of favorites, the other day me and two lovely ladies went to the orange circle to take some pictures. here are some of my favorite pictures from that day.

and a few of the duke. i just cant help it.

pigeons

once upon a time there were three pigeons, and they were wonderful friends. they lived in a time where there was a mean cat that ruled over them and made them bring her food whenever she wanted. so one day these three pigeons got together to make a plan to destroy the evil cat. one pigeon wanted to kill her, the other pigeon wanted to sing her to sleep forever, and the other pigeon wanted to kidnap the cat. they finally decided that they were going kill the cat, so one day they found that cat and BOOM! they killed her and took over the town, and they lived happily ever after.

that was the story that my husband told me the other night when i asked him to tell me a story as we were going to bed. i wasnt totally tired yet and we were just laying there giggling and being weird, when i asked him to tell me a story. he agreed sweetly and oddly enough it put me right to sleep: after i was done laughing my head off.

i would like to hope that things like that will happen throughout our marriage, and make our relationship that much stronger. kinder. sillier. i love being silly. i love whenever i watch the lion king, i just want to prowl around the house and get nathan to growl with me. i love that we get all silly right before were about to go to bed. i love that if nathan has a guitar in his hands and just strumming, he will make up a song abou

t me:

casey your making pasta

that doesnt make me want to hasta

your cooking is the best

makes me want to wear a vest

stuff like that makes our marriage. not the arguments. not the miscommunications. not the misunderstanding and fights that happen with any relationship. i believe that we can choose what makes our relationship, and i choose silly. i also think that it will be a constant battle to choose the silly and the joyful not the struggles, because honestly, it is sometimes easier to be mad and frustrated than it is to be vulnerable and funny.

this weekend was fun, but it was also a tough one for nathan and i. it felt like we were just missing each other: every time i was being silly, nathan was irritated, and every time he wanted to be funny or joke with me, i wasnt in the mood for that. it felt like we went through this the whole weekend until sunday night around 5 when we just sat down and talked about it. we were both being stupid and needed to get over the tiny misconceptions we had going on in our heads. and after we were done, it felt like the whole weight of the weekend was lifted and we could finally breathe. on the way to our friends house we were laughing and smiling and finally enjoying the weekend.

what a waste of a weekend.

i just hope we continue to choose silly.

and pigeons.

hiking vs recording

today nathan and i were supposed to go on a couples hike. if you have already cheated and seen the pictures, then you will see that they are not pictures of wildflowers and miles of green grass, they just arent.

at first i was really, really bummed. our church was putting together this awesome couples hike, and from the first minute i heard about it, i was in. beautiful scenery with cool friends and an even cooler husband: perfection.

but my husband is a man of his word. a word he spoke to a friend of ours a while ago and told him that he would record him and his band. he forgot to tell me, so last night as we were planning out our weekend together he looked at me with wide eyes:

"i have to record tomorrow. i forgot to tell you. i'm so sorry."

nathan is a man of many talents and an even bigger heart, so when friends come to him and ask him to help them record, he is all for it. he has been blessed with an amazing mind and and even greater ability to love people. but sometimes that leaves me without.

without a couples hike.

without a husband for the weekend.

without a date.

without plans.

at first i was bummed, but who can be bummed that their husband is loving and gracious? i married him because of those things: how can i now be frustrated in those things? having a husband who puts himself last and has a huge heart is a blessing, especially because i know that he wanted to go on that hike.

he wanted to be my husband for the weekend.

he wanted to be my date.

he wanted to be my plans.

i figure since he cant come to me, i'll come to him, and take pictures while he serves our friends. it is a way we can be together and i can support him in his art and figure out mine: lets hope i stick with it.

AND ONE!

i dont understand what AND ONE means. i know it's a basketball term and something to do with fouls. i know that joey and nate and kip have tried to explain it to me: but i got nothing. i dont get it. but what i do get is that is sure if fun to yell it out to the boys that play basketball on tuesdays.

my husband is one of those boys, and it is just so fun to watch him be active and fun and an athlete. he has a great heart and is the first one to call himself on a foul. there is no trash talk or heated moments on the court: it's just hanging out on a tuesday with a different setting.

i go and try to support him, but damn it gets cold out there! my God my feet are so cold i could break off my toes and put them in your soda...that may be how Phoebe found a thumb in her soda...

i digress. anyway, my super awesome wonderful photographer friend christine lent us this awesome zoom lens and it was so great. i got some cool shots and thought i would share them.

anyway, hope all of your weeks are going well. this week has been an interesting one and i dont know where i will be at the end of it all. our college group is reading through the whole new testament in 5 weeks, and nathan and i are really digging it so far. granted yesterday was day one and it's 10:16 p.m. and i havent started on todays (can you say foreshadowing?) but i still like it.

there is just something sweet about re-reading all the words i base my life upon. my marriage upon. my growth upon. something very sweet indeed.

Cant even last an hour

this weekend was not one full of rest and relaxation, but it was not one of stress and obligation either. it was one that put thoughts in my head and made me think about who i am as a person and who i want to be. on saturday janvier and i took captain to disneyland. in case you didnt catch that, we went on SATURDAY, the busiest day of the freaking week. i honestly dont know what i was thinking, all i saw was 'splash mountain' and a cute kid. but it was not all splashes and mountains.

it was hot.

and crowded.

and sticky and sweaty.

it was just awful being pushed around and people walking in front of you and kicking your feet. strollers hitting the back of your ankles and pasty tourists with their packed lunches and fanny packs. it was just tough.

tough because i really wanted to be there. because i really wanted the lines to shorten and the clouds to come, but no such luck. luckily i had a wonderful little boy and a cool friend to share the heat and tourists with. captain was such a little saint the whole time as he was being pushed and shoved in ten different directions. but like i said in the beginning, it made me think:

why do i feel i'm entitled to perfect weather and no lines? why am i offended when someone cuts me off? why do i get so angry about nothing?

it made me so sad and really made me think about my life, and honestly, for the most part, i'm a pretty negative person. you give me someone (almost anyone) and i can tell you what i dont like about them without a thought or hope of a filter. no euphemisms. no tact. just the words that come to mind, but the worst part about that, it that they had to come from somewhere before they came from the brain, and that place is much worse and much harder to deal with.

my heart.

i allow people and small situations to steal my joy and take away what i have. when i am in a crowded area, when people are rude, and especially when i am driving. i feel like i turn into a totally different person when i drive, and sometimes the things that come out of my mouth: they are so shameful and disgusting. i know why i am this way though: i am just so crippling self-conscience. i look at people and always measure myself to them, and 90% of the time, i dont measure up to them. but i dont want to be that person. with all my heart i dont want to be that person, and now that i am seeing it, i am trying to fix it.

however it is much worse than i thought.

literally, 10 times today i had to stop myself from saying totally off the wall and hurtful things. all things in jest, but that doesnt make them loving or kind or worth the breath it takes to muster them. and even still, things came out that made my heart drop. i couldnt even make it an hour, how am i going to fix this problem that i have?

i am discouraged and confused and feel just exhausted with being in my own skin. just tired of struggling with the same issues. will i ever learn?

on another note, here are some pictures of us at disneyland and just some of duke. everyone needs to be reminded of the duke once and a while.